A YOUNGER NEW YORKER (Me, 29) approaches a curb where NEW YORKER LADY (60s, White) and NEW YORKER MAN (70s, White) try to understand something ahead. Younger New Yorker looks up from Instagram. A red-bearded MAN (30s, White, overweight) is yelling at a South Asian delivery man, who is confused and worried. His BIKE is in the crosswalk slightly.

MAN: Are you a fucking idiot?

Delivery man just looks ahead trying to ignore him.

Man PUSHES the delivery man’s bike backwards with him on it, into stalled traffic. It wobbles and delivery man simply tries to balance. He asks him to stop to no avail.

MAN: Follow the fucking law!

TRIO OF NEW YORKERS: (To Man) Hey! Get off him! Let go!

MAN: Mind your own fucking business!

NEW YORKER MAN: We’ll call the cops!

MAN: Fuck you! This is why the Democrats are ruining this country!

Revealing his true identity, all three New Yorkers scoff at the TR*MPER (30s, still White obviously), who lets go of the bike. New Yorker Lady CHUCKLES. TR*MPER is flustered and angrier.

Young New Yorker notices TR*MPER carries a laminated, tourist-trap bike tour BROCHURE. He is probably not doing well against his immigrant competition in that forever-sketchy profession (currently the guys from Uzbekistan are killin’ it at the over-priced bike rental game).

YOUNG NEW YORKER: (Genuinely) Who says we’re Democrats?

TR*MPER: ’Cause you’re fucking pussies!

NEW YORKER LADY: Oh, ho. Look at you, Mr. Bigshot.

Tr*mper forcefully BUMPS into New Yorker Man as he trots past.

YOUNG NEW YORKER: You piece of shit.

TR*MPER: Better watch yourselves.

NEW YORKER MAN: Is that a threat? What a fucking joke.

TR*MPER: (Now revealing a Southern drawl) You better watch out or you might not live to see another birthday!

NEW YORKER MAN: Okay, Now THAT is a threat.

YOUNG NEW YORKER: Did you hear that? He’s not even from here. He’s from the South!

There’s a pause as they run the line through their heads simultaneously — “He should go back to where he came from” — but reject it.

All three New Yorkers chuckle and go their own ways.

The events you just read all happened, and have been presented verbatim.

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