It is time for a new story for Australia

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‘15 January 2021’ (Chalk on Sidewalk)

Covid-19 and the American political nightmare aside, as a foreign MFA candidate in Sydney and an artist whose practice focuses on mythic art, it has been fascinating to immerse myself in Australia’s national myths and analyse the way in which they manifest in day-to-day society. As that January 26 national holiday fast approaches, my research has directly collided with Australia’s grand creation myth, that of the terra nullius. Historically this was the legal status as “no man’s land” that British colonists put upon the Australian continent when they arrived in 1788. Mythically, however, it represents the genesis of a new…


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EXT. COLUMBUS CIRCLE AREA — DAY

A YOUNGER NEW YORKER (Me, 29) approaches a curb where NEW YORKER LADY (60s, White) and NEW YORKER MAN (70s, White) try to understand something ahead. Younger New Yorker looks up from Instagram. A red-bearded MAN (30s, White, overweight) is yelling at a South Asian delivery man, who is confused and worried. His BIKE is in the crosswalk slightly.

MAN: Are you a fucking idiot?

Delivery man just looks ahead trying to ignore him.

Man PUSHES the delivery man’s bike backwards with him on it, into stalled traffic. It wobbles and delivery man simply…


Exploring The Idea of Cowardice Through Steven Spielberg’s ‘Saving Private Ryan’

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“Does it really hold up once you get past the D-Day scene?” my friend asks me when I tell him I recently re-watched 1998’s Saving Private Ryan in its entirety for the first time in years. I reassure him Steven Spielberg's World War II masterpiece does indeed “hold up.” In fact, it does much more than I ever thought when my heart was first captured by what remains one of the greatest representations of the American WWII experience in contemporary cinema. It does more because it shows what many of its counterparts do not: Fear.

Tom Hanks’s Captain Miller, the…


Next Time a Facebook Commenter Says Your Article Is The Stupidest Thing They’ve Ever Read, Send Them This

Shmoops. Shoople cardufel platz plaaza. And you know that’s shlontz.

When I was but ashkabat pernille, I recall being totaly darfunkled by my farfignugget (not to be confused with farfigugat)and saying to my friend Bee-Bop — who is NOT a robot, but an android — “hey Playa, eskandurun shmolly soo-bop?” and he was just like totally not like having it, ya know? Shmooops 4 reelz.

Anyway, what’s that got to do with us? Well, on a serious not if five clown cars collide with a smork then what does that say about the prime rib of sharabistan? Maybe he’s…


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The author, aged 21, at Wembley Stadium to celebrate Freddie for a Day, the annual commemoration of Freddie mercury to raise money for HIV/AIDS awareness and research.

Out of principle, despite being a writer, I don’t have favourite movies or books. There are too many I have not seen or read yet and only more will come out eventually, so I simply cannot choose a finite favourite. Music is different. I have known since the very first time I heard “Bohemian Rhapsody” as a kid that Queen is my favourite band, Freddie Mercury my favourite musician. I own every album, I’ve read the books, watched the documentaries and concerts, given money to the Mercury Phoenix Trust for years (which you should too), and even travelled from New…


The true worth of art lies within in its humanity, not its prestige.

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Painted by the author

There are two versions of the dreaded phrase, “my kid could paint that!” The first is the battle cry of the cynical, reluctant art goer. Usually when looking at abstract and/or contemporary work, there is a notion that art is “easy,” because a child is prone to splatter, colour, and non-photorealism. To this person, the only difference between Jackson Pollack and a four year-old, is artistic pretentiousness. The second use of the phrase is worse; doting parents who obsess over their children so much that they believe their child can make art that’s worth as much as a Pollack. Thing…


This Passover, Ask Questions For Those Who Cannot

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(Art by the Author is updated daily on Instagram at @greguzelac)

At the Passover Seder we are taught to imagine Four Children, who question the seder and the Passover tradition.

The Wise Child asks how one carries out a seder, implying he or she will learn and continue tradition.

The Wicked Child asks why Passover is important, specifically to you, the adult/teacher, thereby isolating and elevating his or herself from others. Isolationism, narcissism, spite, and cynicism is seen as true evil.

The Simple Child simply wants to know what’s going on — what is this whole holiday about, which is simultaneously asking the most direct and the most complex question of…


It’s Simple Logic

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Do not arm me. Do not arm my fellow teachers. Do not spend millions if not billions of dollars building complex escape labyrinths or double layered, bullet proof doors. Do not listen to the gun profiteers. Their ideas will not keep us safe.

Take these things into consideration before I lay out a highly probable scenario that disproves the “arming teachers” idea introduced by Wayne La Pierre and the National Rifle Association, an organization so obviously protecting their financial interests, I find it insulting.

  1. I am trained in Active Shooter Response.
  2. I have conducted Lockdown Drills with my students.
  3. I…


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On a slightly cloudy day in Murca, The Leader bobbed by his large window in the Oval Office gazing out at his kingdom. He peered out, like he always did around 7:42am, thinking about what his second breakfast would be that day. It had been four hours since his first — a Gordito, they used to be called — now known as a Spoagie thanks to the Englicization. The Leader loved Spoagies, especially because, like all sandwiches, they had zero calories.

Just then, as he rubbed his belly thinking of the oils and sauces drizzling into his mouth, The Leader’s…

Gregory Uzelac

Writer & artist. New York-raised, Diaspora style. www.guzelac.com

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